i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
