please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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