Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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