That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
