i jhust puked up my retainher.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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