my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
