In the future we'll all be gay
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
