i love accidental penises.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
