We named our party play list daddy issues
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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