I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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