I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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