After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
