He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
