i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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