why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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