I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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