you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
