I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize