I puked a lego.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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