the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
