Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
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Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
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I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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