I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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