just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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