u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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