My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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