Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
