please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
