i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
