Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I got her a Nickelback box set.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
