I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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