We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
