I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
