I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
