Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize