i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
