Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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