Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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