I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
