Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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