wrigley field is MILF paradise
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
