Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
