everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
