Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
