I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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