time to smoke my breakfast
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
