I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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