everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
