everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
