She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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