I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize