1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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