White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
