Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
All I want is dick and wine.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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