matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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