you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
