If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
